The Nursing Baby - Q&A

Sandy asks:
I stopped nursing my 4 month old cause I'm so overly stressed and I regret weaning him. He is on the bottle all the time. I wanted to so badly nurse him but I can't now cause I'm dried up, he freaks when I try to latch him on what can I do to get over the guilt? And will my baby do ok in the future without being nursed? I nursed my first son for 15 months so I know I could do it and he's so healthy. Will my second son be as healthy? And also how can I also loose the extra weight now that I'm not nursing?

Dear Sandy,

What a dilemma! Sounds like you have been through some very difficult times recently. Everyone reacts differntly to stress, and you had a perfectly normal reaction. You knew that you had to take care of yourself, and put some resources going for you. And you did. Mothers often don't get the support they need. Keep in mind that taking care of yourself was a good decision. Perhaps you prevented yourself from becoming depressed, or from other health problems commonly related to stress. Without you being healthy and happy, your son will suffer a lot more than missing out on breastmilk. Without your basic health and happiness, it is difficult for him to get the love and support he needs. Feeling guilty about what you did will not do you or your son any good. Remind yourself that you got through a stressful situation and look to the future, not the past. Guilt can cause you as many problems as the stress you were facing, so don't indulge!

Now, it may be possible to relactate. Since your son has forgotten, you might try setting up a Starter Nursing System with formula so that he gets used to nourishment from the breast. There are other techniques and tips a trained lactation consultant can give you, if you are interested in reestablishing the nursing relationship.

Your son was nursed 4 months, don't think of it as not nursing to 15 months but of getting 4 months of nursing! There are many health benefits that your son received. Yes, nursing to a year or more has some more health benefits, but most of the time, those benefits are noted by staticians looking at populations. It's really impossible to say whether you will see a difference.

For weight loss, I really recommend Weight Watchers. They have a sensible program with very low costs, and you don't feel that you are starving when on it and can pick your own foods. Some of their meetings are designed to allow you to bring your little ones. Other meetings are held right in the workplace. They also have online programs now. I lost over 40 pounds on their program while nursing (they have a program for nursing mothers as well). No, I don't work for them!

Sandy, I don't know what the stress in your life is like, but I urge you to build up more relationships with friends and family and within your religious community. Stress is so much easier to handle when we have those who care who will listen.

These tips are not intended to be medical advice. Please consult your healthcare provider if you have questions.

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