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The Nursing Baby - Q&A

Joy asks:
Please help me. My 11 month old son has been exclusively breastfed his entire life. He will take an advent bottle from me with juice with his meals in the high chair, he will also take a cup with juice. But when I pump milk he doesn't like it outside of the breast. I have tried leaving him in the church nursery and he just screams and yells until he's asleep and wakes up screaming more. I have tried giving him the bottle and cutting out his feedings beginning with the am feeding. He does the same screaming traumatizing fit, clinging to me and falling backward. I am returning to school this spring and he will have to be in daycare 4 to 5 hours per day 4 days a week. I don't want him to be in trauma every morning, there's no way I can concentrate with my baby like that. Also, I've noticed that he nurses more as a pacifier than for food, sometimes he nurses so much during the night that he just throws up by the morning feeding (we share a bed). I am so desperate for help, please respond asap.

What a thorny situation! Leaving your baby in another's care is always difficult - but when baby is obviously unhappy, it can break your heart!

First, I would suggest, stop leaving him in anyone's care until it's time for you to go back. Give him time to forget his experiences in the church nursery.

Next, you need to enlist the support at your school's daycare. Tell them what's going on, and that the week before he starts, you'd like to come in and spend some time with your baby at the center so that he can get used to the surroundings. Plan an hour or two a day. You won't be taking up any of the care providers time since you are there, but your baby will get a great chance to see that this is a place that you and he can play and have a good time in.

Lastly, regarding food. You will only be gone 4-5 hours - and your baby will be over a year by then. There is really no urgent need to see that he can drink from a bottle or cup. At this age, many start with an easy to sip sippy cup. You can provide the center with both your milk, cow's milk if you choose, water (don't forget how healthy water is), or juice. Your baby will soon be eating and drinking when hungry. Or, he may be like other breastfed infants and simply wait for mom (many babies do that with no harm!).

Lastly, regarding spit up in the morning - it is perfectly normal. It is less about the greediness of your baby and more about your milk supply. While we sleep, our hormones begin rising and our milk supply does as well, so babies will get quite a bit then. The spit up is completely harmless (but of course messy!). Babies this age really *do* nurse as comfort as well as food. This is a healthy, normal bonding between you and baby. With a baby as highly spirited as yours, you should definitely take weaning at a slow pace. Your baby at this age needs all the comfort he can get, especially since he'll be going through such a new experience soon. While you are apart from baby, you may at first feel a bit uncomfortablly full, but that should subside in a few weeks.

You are about to embark on a new experience, and with conflicting priorities. It is natural to worry. But enjoy your special time with your baby now, without worrying! And keep in mind that you can always change your situation if it isn't working out. You are your baby's mother, and are fully capable of seeing that he receives the best of care!

These tips are not intended to be medical advice. Please consult your healthcare provider if you have questions.

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