The Nursing Baby - Q&A

Lisa M aks:
My baby will be 1 year old in May. He is still nursing about 3 times a day. The problem is he uses my breast at night (he sleeps in our bed) as a pacifier. He wants it in his mouth throughout the night and frequently awakes crying and seeking the breast. This has caused me many stressful nights. My breasts are so sore and I want to wean him. What can you suggest. Please help! Thank you.

I'm not sure from your response if you want to wean him because you want to wean him - or if you want to night-wean him. I'm going to assume the second.

Since your son is nursing so much - have you tried a pacifier? Would he accept that as a substitute? It may not be an esthetic choice, but could be better than the alternatives.

Family bedding parents have some unique problems. Babies know mom's milk is around! They smell it and sense you near, and love that closeness! But your baby wants it more than you do. Plus, it is causing you soreness. I am wondering why? Is baby biting you in the night? One of my children used to bite when he fell asleep...his lips would relax, the nipple would start coming out, and OUCH I'd awaken to him biting to keep the nipple from escaping his searching lips! Is your soreness due to another reason? Make sure you don't have a yeast infection. And eliminate any bottles - a one year old can use cups or sippy cups very easily - and eliminating bottles can eliminate latching problems that cause pain. At the very least, eliminating the soreness will make you less resentful as you work through these problems.

So your challenge now is to eliminate baby's need to nurse at night. This is a tough one. The sore breasts you mentioned could also be a result of your one year old teething . See if your doctor recommends any general pain medication for teething such as tylenol or ibuprofen.

Are there any tricks you've used in the past to help baby sleep more deeply? The white noise of a fan can help do the trick for some babies!

Another idea - put baby on dad's side of the bed, away from you. Some babies pick up the nursing cue by their proximity to mom. When they are closer to dad - they smell and sense dad, not mom and her wonderful milk supply! If you plan on transitioning baby out of the family bed this could be the ideal time. Babies are lazy - just like us! If they have to wake up and CRY for mother's milk, they may, depending on their temperament, be just as likely to wake up and think to themselves - it's just not worth the effort, and go back to sleep. I am not recommending that you give up the family bed (I still have my 4 year old and 18 month old in ours!), but if it was in your plans any time soon, you might consider it earlier.

Hopefully some of these tips will assist you. Nightweaning is possible! If more active measures are needed - work on getting dad to calm baby down (and yes, even with a bottle of milk if it will work). Baby is more apt to take a substitute from another adult than from his mom. 12 months is a bit young for some of this advice. Many 18 month olds can respond and understand when mama says "milkies have gone to bed for the night" and will allow mom to pat them back to sleep.

Wishing you a joyous nursing relationship! Or at least a gentle cessation from one that used to be joyous!

These tips are not intended to be medical advice. Please consult your healthcare provider if you have questions.

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