The Nursing Baby - Q&A

My number one recommendation to you would be to cosleep, but you are absolutely right that it is not safe with a waterbed. If a firmer matress isn't in your future, then I'll try to give you a few suggestions.

Since your son is waking for comfort instead of nursing, you might try putting his crib in your room for a few months. It may be that if he wakes up and sees you near, he might just go back to sleep on his own.

Another suggestion which is quite humane and loving is to try to get him to learn to go to sleep at night without the rocking. Put him down in his crib when he's tired, sit nearby him, and see if he goes down on his own. If he learns to go to sleep by himself, he may be able to do it in the middle of the night as well. This suggestion requires a tremendous amount of committment on your part, as you may be spending an hour or more with him at night till he naturally falls asleep. Please pick him up when he cries, and don't try this method if it obviously doesn't work.

Another suggestion would involve your spouse or another adult taking over nighttime wakings. Your child may simply lose interest in waking at night if his favorite person doesn't come in.

You didn't mention if your child used a pacifier or other soother such as a blanket. In this instance, such a dependency device may be just what he needs to feel comforted in the middle of the night. Try giving him a soft blankie, and when you pick him up to comfort him, make sure you pick up the blankie so he begins to associate it with warmth and comfort.

On the positive side of your hard-to-comfort child, you may find that he grows up to be a truly loving and caring person who puts people over things. But because he is a high-needs child at 9 months, I'd continue to expect the next few years to be challenging as well. A couple of books I recommend to you include The Fussy Baby by Dr. Sears and The Spirited Child.