The Nursing Baby - Q&A

Jennifer Burnside asks:
When I first had my baby boy I was overjoyed!! He was my first baby so I couldn't ever put him down. I always had to hold him. Knowing it would make him feel very secure and safe. Besides, you can't spoil a newborn. Well its 9 weeks later and he ALWAYS wants to be held, I can't ever get anything done. Once in a while I try sitting him in front of the TV, knowing it isn't good for him, but I am desperate! I've put sugar on his pacifier, put him in his swing, put him under his mobile, sitting him in front of me when I am doing housework, and nothing works! Do you know any simple remedies that may help? I've tryed a carrier but it just seems to get in the way. I also want to know any advice about a baby that hates to ride in a car. All he does is scream most of the time.

Jennifer, you may want to try a sling style carrier, which can be worn comfortably both sitting and standing. It can be worn in several positions, so that you can do several things at the same time since your hands are free.

It may comfort you to know that your baby has highly developed survival instincts. In ancient times it was a matter of life or death for a baby to be close to its mother. You'll find that this will change as the months goes by, and your baby learns different means of locomotion. But you may also want to consider the possibility that your son is a high-need baby. An excellent book on the subject is The Fussy Baby by Dr. Sears.

As for car drives, there are several things to try. Singing a song worked great for my son (made me a bit hoarse, though!) and playing a tape of lullabyes can be successful. You can try rotating toys back to him to occupy him. Also try putting a mirror in so he can get a glimpse of you - that may be enough to reassure him. Sometimes jiggling my son's car seat would distract him from his cries also. When there was another driver, I would actually nurse him while he was in his seat (required a bit of experimentation), and that always calmed him down.

If nothing you do works - don't despair. There will come a day when your son can stand driving - perhaps when he's old enough for a forward facing car seat. Just pull off the road into a safe location when your nerves get frazzled, or turn the radio up. Make sure that you stay calm enough to drive safely (since safety *is* the whole point of using car seats).

Good luck to you and remember that sometimes it's more important to know that you've tried to meet your high-need baby's needs than to actually succeed. Your baby will pick up on your warmth and love, even if he doesn't seem to at the time.
These tips are not intended to be medical advice. Please consult your healthcare provider if you have questions.

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