The Nursing Baby - Q&A

Michele,
I'm sure you realize pacifiers aren't generally recommended, but I think judicious use in the car seat is probably a good thing. Please don't feel like a failure for meeting your son's needs this way - you've taken a hard look at the situation and decided to use a shortcut, since you obviously can't pick him up in the middle of a drive.

Michele, are you nursing your son down in the family bed and going to sleep with him? If you haven't tried this, give it a shot. Babies are much more likely to drift off if they think you are drifting off to sleep with him.

If you are doing this and he is still fussing, it could be a sign of something else going wrong. Although it's early, your son could be teething (although they generally fuss during the daytime, too). He could also be indicating that he's not ready for bed when you think he should be. One thing you could try is carrying him in the sling more, which tends to both shorten the length of a nap and increase the number of naps, and is close to an infant's "natural" sleeping cycle.

Michele, there are also things you can try at night to change up your son's routine. Do you bathe together? It can be very relaxing for an infant to bathe and nurse with mommy in the tub (plus relaxing for you!). I highly recommend enlisting your husband's aid in this, since getting a squirmy wet baby out of the tub is pretty difficult.

I must admit, I used a pacifier with my son (I didn't really know better). Plus as a WOH mom, I wanted him to have the comfort sucking available to him. After his dependency on it was established, my husband and I decided to make it available to him fulltime on a string. Our feeling was that he should have control over sucking comfort. He completely self-weaned from it at 15 months, with no input from us. However, if I had felt that his nursing was being affected, I would have intervened. You probably realize that there is a correlation between pacifier usage and weaning age, which is why they are generally not recommended for nursing mothers.

If you've tried these methods and your son still fights going down, please remember that it is not because you are "failing" him. Babies have their own ideas, and it is not always possible to understand what they are trying to communicate. You sound like such a sensitive mother for looking for the perfect solution for your son. I wish you luck and joy in parenting.