The Nursing Baby - Q&A

Nym asks:
My 4 & 1/2 month old is still transitioning from his bassinet in our room, to his crib in his room, with not much luck. He used to sleep well in his bassinet at night, waking up just twice at 12 am and 4 am to nurse, and then going right back to sleep. But he sleeps very irregularly now, waking up often throughout the night, and won't stay asleep for very long. We have to pat him, or hold him to get him back to sleep again, but anywhere from five minutes to an hour he's right back up again. I don't sleep well when he's in bed with us, but I'm forced to bring him into our room, and nurse him several times each night, just to get some sleep, even if it's not good, because that's the only way he will sleep for longer stretches of time. Please help! I'm exhausted!

First, you should know that 4 months (and 9 months) are both common times for babies to begin more night waking. It is fairly normal, and to be expected even if your baby was still in the bassinet.

You've noticed that your baby sleeps better if nursed rather than patted or otherwise comforted to sleep. Nursing is the easiest way to comfort a baby that age, and the milk actually helps them to sleep.

There are many things you can try to increase the amount of sleep you get. If you are not comfortable with the baby in your bed, perhaps you need a larger bed or need to baby proof it? A guard rail is really necessary when you are family bedding. For rollers and crawlers, it can be a great idea to take your bed off its frame.

There are other options that can make picking up your baby to nurse in the middle of the night easier. I assume the bassinet was beside your bed before, why not put the crib beside your bed? Consider it a transitional step before you move the baby's crib into his own room.

Remember that while independent sleeping is a goal you have for your baby, it is not a goal your baby has. For thousands of years, infants have rested most safely in their parent's arms. Infants who cried when separated from their parents at night had a survival advantage of those content by themselves. Instead of thinking of your baby needing you at night as dependence, note that it takes an independent spirit to cry and let you know what they want!

Be sure to get adequate rest yourself. When your baby is nightwaking, you may need several extra hours sleep yourself in order to feel better rested. So do your best to turn in early yourself, and handling the nightwaking will seem a much smaller crisis when you know you won't be completely exhausted in the morning.

Finally, when you do transition the crib into the baby's nursery, consider using a two way baby monitor, or turning the monitor around. Your baby may be comforted by hearing the sounds of your own sleep, and SIDS researchers think the low level of parental noise is healthy at regulating baby's breathing. Your baby may also benefit by having a small blankie with "your scent" in the crib. Try wearing baby's blankie for an hour before bedtime so it will remind him of you!

We wish you happier nights!

These tips are not intended to be medical advice. Please consult your healthcare provider if you have questions.

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