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Teaching a Two Year Old to Sleep!

Sandi asked an oft repeated question with older nurslings,
"I am nursing my two-year-old. She NEVER goes to sleep without either nursing or in the car or stroller. How have other mothers who are nursing toddlers taught their children how to go to sleep alone?"

Here are some of the answers that readers provided to her! Every mom seems to have her own method! Sandi, we hope you can take some of these moms' advice and use them to give yourself and your daughter better nights!

  • The way I've trained all of my children to go to sleep without nursing is to NOT let them fall asleep during that last feed before bedtime.
  • You might decide to start telling your two year old, who probably understands a fair amount of language by now, that nursing is for daytime. As long as a loving adult stays with the child in bed or in the bedroom during the transition, which may be very difficult for a while, the child won't be too afraid or feel abandoned and the total feeling of security in your availability shouldn't suffer. Another choice might be for your partner, if you have one, to take over for some set period of time. Again, the child may be unhappy about the change, but having a loving caregiver there will make it easier. Whether the partner walks or rocks the child to sleep or just stays in the bed or next to it is entirely up to you. Just remember that your child will learn the new pattern just as thoroughly as the old, so don't do anything you can't live with!
  • I too, have nursed my children to sleep for years. I use the time to wind down my own thoughts, to relax for a few minutes in our family bed, and to read a good book or magazine. I love the idea of sending them off to sleep cuddled up with their very favorite thing, ME!
  • Let Daddy do it!
  • A tired baby and parental hands on while in the crib/bed is the key to successful transition.
  • I don't have a solution to the problem but I wanted Sandi to know that my 2 1/2 year old always nurses to fall asleep. He doesn't go to sleep either on his own. Sometimes just knowing that there are other people like you out there makes everything a little better.
  • Nurse in bed and then say, "okay, let's nurse for ten and then it is pillow time." I have a glass of water to offer instead of nursing. We read books and then sing or talk about the books we've read while I turn the lights out. We talk about how the "boobas" are tired and want to go to sleep. After all of this, if he is lying in bed quietly I say I'm getting up for a minute. If he calls to me I come back and lay down with him. Once he is settled again I try again.
  • From past experience with my two boys now 7 and 5 1/2, I can remember rocking them to sleep along with some tears because they wanted to nurse but I didn't give in. It only lasted a couple of nights in a row. Otherwise, keep nursing till your child gives it up. At least you have three options now to get her sleep.
  • What my husband and I do is put on a CD or some kind of music and then dance him to sleep. I like softer, calmer music but my husband likes faster, country music and both work.
  • My 14 mo. old daughter isn't the best of sleepers, yet we have found that the same nightly routine helps her to associate the acts of going down for the night on her own. We begin her routine about 45 min. before we want her to go down for the night. Bath, teeth brushing, lotion, diaper & p.j.'s. Then we get our blanket & pacifier & head out to say goodnight to the other parent and her big brother, read a book, then put her to bed awake.

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