Evolution of a Family Bedder, Continued

My daughter is now 13 months old. I brought her into bed with me when she was a few weeks old and had a little cold because I felt safer having her next to me. I got alot of negative feedback from my family and it wasn't until I went to my first L.L.L. meeting when she was four months old that I found I wasn't the only one doing it, AND that it wasn't going to ruin my child's or my life. The only problems I've come across are, first,that she will not settle down at night anymore unless I put her in her crib. Then she usually wakes up a couple of hours later and I bring her into bed with me. The other problem happened when she was about six months old, and would no longer nurse to sleep. She hated going in her crib and nap times became a huge problem. I teach music lessons in my home, so I couldn't always spend an hour patting her and rocking her. I finally made the decision to let her cry it out. I hated doing it but had no other choice. She has gotten better at naps but sometimes I wonder if it wouldn't have been easier if she had just learned to go to sleep on her own since the time she was an infant.

I also listened to people talking about their childeren sleeping in their beds with them and thought that I would never do that, but after my daughter Emilee was born 5 weeks ago, I changed my attitude. I love having her close, and she sleeps much longer intervals at night, not to mention the ease of breastfeeding.

We have four small children and one on the way. I am very much looking forward to the time that I can sleep in my own bed with no little elbows in my side, our toes tickling my face. I am torn about the "family bed" issue. One the one hand our children are so small and will only stay this way for such a short time, on the other hand I am sooooo tired and want a place of my own that I can use as my quiet place for my own privacy. ( the bathroom doesn't count because your not really resting) It is a true toss up for us, we don't sleep well with the children in our beds but then again we need our sleep and it's easier for us to just have them fall asleep in our bed then to argue and be worked up and tense before we close our eyes. I once was told that it takes a child 1500 times of repetion before they learn a habit. ( Be it a good or bad one ) I can't even think of expending this kind of energy at night with four almost five children. So my thought is my children will be adults soon enough as it is, I guess for 1500 nights or so they can be my babies.

My husband and I decided from the beginning that we would put the baby to bed in his own room. We are VERY fortunate to have a baby that slept through the night at 5 weeks...before that, he'd only wake up to be nursed & go back to sleep immediately. Yes, we know how lucky we are... At 7 months, we started to put him in his crib to go to sleep after the feeding/bath/story ritual. The first week was horrid. It killed us, but we got through it...and he now knows the routeine and starts yawning when we dress him after his bath. Most nights, he falls asleep within 3-5 minutes of being put in his crib. Having him sleep in his own bed has worked well for us. I hope this solution continues. Once, I put him in bed with me for a nap. He rolled off the bed and fell 3 feet onto the hardwood floor. We ended up running to the hospital for an emergency CAT scan after seeing a pediatrician.

Our daughter was born at home in an incredible waterbirth. She has slept in our bed since she was three hours old and I wouldn't have it any other way! It's helped our breastfeeding relationship and I love the way we wake up together. Often now I wake up to two bright eyes and I love how she smiles when she sees that I'm awake! I also love falling asleep with two little arms wrapped around my breast... Joanne needs no teddy bear!! Her dad is still not completely wild about sleeping in one bed, but he admits that it's much easier for all of us in terms of sleeping and nursing. We do all get 9+ hours of sleep a night, and have since the first day! He misses having our bed for just us and also misses falling asleep on my chest, which now belongs to his daughter! LOL I am so glad that we are giving this security to our daughter. She's 12 weeks old today and I am already feeling like I will miss her when she decides to sleep alone, whenever that is. I want to nurse her until she's at least 2, so hopefully she will stay with us for quite a while longer. I think we will keep her with us when we have our next baby (maybe in the summer of 2001 if things go to plan!) but we will probably have to get a second mattress and then put the whole thing on the floor so we will have enough room. It's only for a few years and I think it's the best start possible especially since I have to go back to work when Joanne is 6 months old.

It was wonderful to read everyone's stories and comments. I am a single mother of twin boys that will be 11 months tomorrow. I have been wanted children for what seems like forever and feel so blessed to have gotten two! They were born two months early and in the hospital the first three weeks and that was so hard. I dreamed of when the day I could bring them home and we could just hang out in bed together nursing and sleeping. I, too, have had lots of advice about getting them out of bed but like so many of you I cannot imagine having them so far away from me. I also can't take letting them cry it out and finally, I just adore cuddling with them and waking up to their smiling faces and giggles. I had been considering trying to move them out soon but now I think I will enjoy this precious time a little longer. Thanks.

My husband and i sleep with our 3 week old baby and have from the very first night we brought her home. I like it because I believe she sleeps better through the night and when she does wake up to nurse , it is simple..and we both drift off back to sleep..I LOVE waking up and seeing her little sweet body lying next to mine..

We are practicing the family bed with our 19 month old daughter who is still breastfeeding on demand. In the beginning, I really didn't have an opinion on whether we would do it or not. She didn't even prefer being in the same bed, and slept in her small crib in our room. When she was about 6 months old, though, she started showing a preference for our bed. We gave in because it was certainly better than the alternative - let her cry it out. My husband and I would never do that so we went with what she was telling us - that she needed to be near me, my breast, my heat, my touch, my smell. We also believed firmly that it was our job during the first year of her life to teach her trust. The family bed is just a small part of teaching that and we are glad that we did it. She is still cautious of new situations but I can't imagine what she would have been like if we had let her cry it out at night. We also practiced a slightly different version of the family bed with my 6 year old son. When he was a baby he would start off most nights in his crib but as soon as he cried we went and got him and fed him, comforted him, and did what we had to to put him back to sleep, sometimes put him in our bed. He used to come into our room on his own when he was old enough to get out of his bed, I think he was 2 or 3 years old. It became such a routine that we didn't even know he was there until one or both of us found ourselves clinging to our side of the bed, with him hogging the middle. After we invested in a king sized bed things went much better. Even now, we still allow him to come to our room when he wants. The other night he came to us because the wind during a storm woke him up, and I can remember him telling me, "Mom, I love you sooo much" and snuggling in to me. That is my reward for making myself available to my children day or night. The family bed isn't for everyone. Even when my son was young, I was full of advice for other parents about how they could get their children out of their beds. After learning and experiencing more, I think that it is an infinitely better answer than the Ferber method (let them cry it out) which is much too popular in this culture. If more parents took the attitude that a baby's job in the first year is to learn trust, the family bed would be a more acceptable thing. Instead most people try to conform to other people's expectations which almost always include a distant parenting style. These advice givers are proponents of "plastic parenting" - put the baby in something plastic, a carrier, a carriage, a walker, a jumper, a playpen, etc. and your life will be almost like it was before you had children. My attitude on allowing your child to sleep with you is this - what is the big deal? As long as you are practicing a safe family bed, who else cares what you do? It is such a small thing you can do for your children in the scheme of you whole life. And the return on your investment will always be worth it. You can depend on it more than the highest rated government bond. So if you believe, go for it!

Family bedding worked for us. My first son was a preemie. He came home just over 4 pounds. He was on that dredded every 3-4 hour NICU schedule. He was also on Oxygen and an Apnea monitor. I worried all night about him losing his cannula or his Apnea monitor going off. Finally I just ran the tubes behind my pillow and put him in the middle of DH and I. We all slept peacefully from about 1 month after he came home until he had been home just over 6 months. At that time he very easily transitioned into his own bed. Why did we transition him. He started to kick more at night and when we tried to see what would happen when we put him in his own crib he slept through the night as well. With our second child she slept with us until 6 months. Now she is half in her crib half in our bed. She sleeps through the night in either spot. I think all babies go through a phase later in their toddlerdom that they have some wakeful periods during the night. Andrew gets up every now and then and plays for a bit then goes back to bed. We were never overly worried about rolling onto either of them and never came close.

there was never any discussion about a family bed, it just sort of happened after the birth of our first child. I always knew i'd breastfeed (for a solid year, thank you very much!) and it just seemed to make more sense all the way around. more sleep for everone, she didn't have to cry and cry until i got to her. We feel she is a more secure and loving child becuase of it. We've continued with our second child. Our daughter has her own big girl bed, but usually winds up in ours in the middle of the night. Good thing we have a king sized bed! No matter what anyone has said (and EVERYONE has an opinion!) we just continue to do what we are comfortable with and what feels right for our family. 3 cheers for the family bed!

I too am a family bedder, but being a person who craves comfortable sleep. I like to have only 1 child at a time in bed. At about 2-3 years old I try to wean them out of my bed. I have been sucessful with child #1 and working on child #2. Anna, #2, has been more of a challenge but we are getting there. I also recently read an article somewhere(maybe Parenting mag) that a recent study on family bedding might decrease SIDS incidince. Article stated that infant respiratory patterns would mimic patterns of adult sleepers which tend to be more regular.

The family bed has worked well for us. I can not imagine letting my babies cry and cry for when we can give them the security they need by letting them sleep with us. When our daughter was born she was so colicky and the only way to get any sleep was to put her in bed with us. She stayed there for the next two years. We finally introduced her to her toddler bed. She starts out there every night, but usually ends up in our bed, which is ok! If she whines or gets too wound up and starts crowding or kicking we move her to a little couch we have in our bedroom. We have a new baby boy who is now sleeping with us. I tried the bassinet by our bed this time around, but I find that as a mother I just feel a lot safer and secure knowing he is right there with me. It sure makes night feedings a lot easier too! We have had many friends and family members try to makes us feel guilty for our choice, but it's just that- OUR CHOICE! We think our children need to be with us and we love having them there. We are one of the few of the world's cultures who looks down on having our children in our beds with us. Why would we want it any other way? Our children are secure in our love (and in our bed)!!!!

We had a family bed with my son, now four, until he was 18-24 months old. This was a wonderful experience mostly due to the precious first sight to see in the morning. However, I am an Extremely light sleeper, and now with my daughter, 4 months, I am going crazy with sleep deprivation. I don't remember it being such a problem before, but I have so many other responsibilities now, and one cannot keep functioning on 7-8 hrs of sleep with someone waking you up 5-7 times to eat! I cannot imagine anything BUT a family bed, but... I've tried cereal before bed, and also putting her in the other room, but it's me that has a hard time adjusting to that, and I'd probably sleep worse if I had to get up and go feed her then come back to bed several times a night...Aahhh!

The evolution of a family bedder could have easily been written by me. It was almost word for word what happened with us. I didn't think the family bed would be for us either, but it has turned out to be the greatest. I would do it any other way. In my opinion, there is no better way to wake up than with our sweet smiling son between us.

My daughter Alissa is now 18 months old and is still sleeping with me and my husband. I'm now 19 weeks pregnant and for some reason Alissa keeps getting up a few times a night crying, looking for me. I'm right there! I've gotten irritated a few times and am just wondering, once you establish the "Family Bed" with your child, at what age do they start sleeping on their own in their own room. If Alissa goes back to sleeping through the night, I don't think we'd care whether she slept in our bed until she was 4 years old. HELP!!!!

How I wish family bed worked for us. You all have such wonderful stories. We had our son in the bassinet next to the bed for the first couple weeks he was home, then we tried having him in bed with us when. Totally did not work. Either he would wake up crying, or I would wake up and wonder if he was breathing and try to stare at him in the dark, getting all nervous. Twice in the first month my husband woke me up because he was afraid I was too close to the baby. We were all exhausted and miserable. We finally moved the bassinette across the hall to our son's room. Within a week, he was sleeping 12 hours a night, and we never made him cry for more than a minute if he woke during the night. I've tried to have him sleep with us a few times since then (he's 8 months now) and it never works. He wakes up every hour on the hour, doesn't want to eat, won't go to sleep, crawls around the bed. Sigh... It just doesn't work for everyone. Laura

I was thrilled to read your article. I, too, was not going to let my child sleep with me. My son was born 11 weeks early and was on a respirator for three weeks. His breathing was fine for the first year after that. However, after I stopped nursing (at 13 months) and switched to milk he began having breathing problems. After two hospitalizations we began using a nebulizer at home. When Daniel would wake up in the middle of the night having difficulty breathing and I had to administer the nebulizer (which takes about 20-30 minutes) I decided to lay down next to him during the treatment. Well, eventually he was in our bed getting his treatment. After that he would come in our bed even when he didn't need a treatment. He is now 4 1/2 years old and is just starting to show an interest in staying in his bed all night. My husband is the one having difficulty with it. He really misses being snuggled in the middle of the night! I have recieved much advice on why I shouldn't have him in bed with us, but it works for us! I laugh to think of all the things I wasn't going to let my children do that they now are allowed to. I was a much better parent before I had kids. I had all the answers then! My 8 month old does not sleep with us, however. She much prefers her own crib! I really think each child is unique and we have to do what works for us all. Who knows, Abby (my 8 month old) may be in our bed as a toddler - if it works for all of us!

I am a single parent to a wonderful almost 8 month old. She was delivered through a Cesarean section :o( and I had no help at home. I kept her with me every minute I could at the hospital. When we got home I could not get in and out of my waterbed due to the surgery, so she and I slept together on my loveseat for the first 2 weeks. Since then we have slept together. Many people comment on how she is so contented, so happy, always smiling, healthy, etc. One morning I opened my eyes and there she was, about 6 inches from my nose just staring at me - then she got a big grin when my eyes opened! I fully believe in shared sleep as part of attachment parenting. Thanks for giving me a place to share my joy!

I just wanted to share my experience with our son Joshua. Our son began sleeping with us in our room in a bassinet beside our bed the first night we brought hin home. He woke several times during the night and I was becoming extremely exhausted getting up to breastfeed, not to mention he was breastfeeding in the beginning, every hour during the day! My husband and I decided to bring him into our bed and it has been the GREATEST for all of us. My son does not wake up screaming and crying and afraid, he wakes up every morning HAPPY and with a smile on his face! People have commented on what a happy and secure baby he is and I know it is because he sleeps with us. He is eight months right now and is such a blessing. I know that a lot of people are against baby sleeping with them because they feel that it will invade on their private moments, etc.. but the way we looked at it is that our lives DID change when were were blessed with this baby and if it means having to change our lives for awhile then we will. It is for such a short time and the bonding of sharing the bed is absolutely incredible. Joshua and I have become in harmony and he doesn't even wake up now to feed. We all get a lot more sleep and feel secure knowning that our little son is safe with us. I read the facts on parents rolling over on the baby in their sleep and evidence has proved that the cases in which this happened either drugs or alcohol were involved. God gave us intuition and that keeps us in tune with our baby. I encourage every couple to try it - it is the best!!

Our daughter is now 2 months old, and has been sleeping in "our" bed since day one. Even in our hospital room, she took right to snuggling up between mommy and daddy, and has slept that way ever since. She is a breastfeed baby, and is already sleeping in 5-6 hour streches through the night. I am happy to report that neither my husband or I have suffered one sleepless night since her birth, and I attribute it soley to co-sleeping. The only thing that worries us is running out of room in our bed if another baby comes along before our daughter is big enough for her own bed!!!

My daughter just turned 3 this past May and we are expecting our second daughter in July. My daughter has slept with us from the moment we brought her home with us! I never planned on having a family bed, but I was so tired and my husband was away at sea and it was jsut easier to let her sleep with me. As my daughter grew older we enjoyed the closeness and the ease with which breastfeeding was accomplished. She was never a "normal" sleep pattern baby and didn't sleep through the night until she was over 2yrs old. She also stopped napping at about 20 months too! She always wakes up very happy and cheerful and that is something my husband and I both love. We have her crib (minus a side) attached to our bed to make more room and in the early hours she likes to leave her crib and come int he middle. Many people chastised us for our decision, but ultimately it was our decision to make and we are the ones who have to live with the choices we make as well. She is oneof the MOST independent people I know! She loves her family but she has a very strong sense of self and individuality. She is now at 3 yrs of age exhibiting an interest in having a bed of her own. I nfact she wants a bunk bed! So we are going to get a bunk bed with a twin on top and a full futon on the botom that folds into a couch. I envision the three females of the house speninding many a night in this bunk bed! I cannot recommend the family bed enough. It has certainly worked for us and now we just need a king sized bed for when the whole crew wants to be together! I would more than happy to tlak to anyone about any questions they might have regarding the family bed!

We had a crib for my first child and he would wake up the minute you put him in... I started to sleep in the same with him very early... He was much happier and so was I... He would wake up for his feedings and I would be dead... But now he is 3 and still sleeps with us.... I love have my child there... I see him every morning and every night is story time.... He likes his story time and I love him....

I loved this story. It sounds so much like mine! I have a 10 month old son (Carter) who slept great in his crib until about 4 mos. I went back to work at about 3 mos. Then off and on we would have sleeping problems. We have done the family sleeping off and on too and I still waffle on which I prefer, but my son definitely prefers our bed! It is so nice to wake up to a happy baby. I was wondering if your husband stayed home with your baby. It sounded like that regarding the naps! Please let kme know, as my husband does it too, and I work. We love the situation. Thanks! LL

I loved this story. It sounds so much like mine! I have a 10 month old son (Carter) who slept great in his crib until about 4 mos. I went back to work at about 3 mos. Then off and on we would have sleeping problems. We have done the family sleeping off and on too and I still waffle on which I prefer, but my son definitely prefers our bed! It is so nice to wake up to a happy baby. I was wondering if your husband stayed home with your baby. It wounded like that regarding the naps! Please let kme know, as my husband does it too, and I work. We love the situation. Thanks! LL

My daughter is now 14 months old (nearly 15 months really). Before she was born, I insisted on having a very nice crib, and borrowed a cradle from my Aunt. Our co-sleeping started out in the hospital. We only spent one night after she was born and she was with me the entire time. The only time she was out of my arms was when they needed to weigh her, we changed her diaper or I relented to letting her Daddy or another relative hold her for a minute. I really hadn't intended on co-sleeping but, it has been a natural fit for us. The only problem has been that sometimes she and I both are snoring so loudly that we end up kicking Daddy out of bed! She is the sweetest, most loving baby I've ever been around. She's very well adjusted as well. She is still nursing at night but, this isn't a problem because I barely have to wake up to get her latched on. I have been wondering what we'll do when we have another one...probably buy a bigger bed!

When our oldest son was born 2 1/2 years ago, we intended for him to sleep in his nursery which we had decorated and purchased new furniture for. However, when we brought him home I could not even consider leaving him alone in his bedroom down the hall and he has never spent a night outside our bedroom. When he was tiny, he slept in his bassinet beside our bed and when he was about 4 months old, he outgrew the bassinet and we moved his crib into our room. He slept in the crib one night and developed a cold that I was worried about so I let him sleep in our bed and that is where he stayed for the next two years! When he turned two, I was seven months pregnant for number two and we decided to buy a toddler bed. We would move him to the toddler bed after he fell asleep in our bed and within a couple of months, he willingly began to sleep in his own bed (it is in our bedroom). Our new baby just turned three months old and is still sleeping in his bassinet next to our bed. We will let him decide where he wants to sleep and like his brother, we will offer gentle encouragement when he is two or three to sleep in his own bed. I feel that children must feel so safe and secure when cuddled up between their parents. I remember wanting so badly to sleep with my parents when I was little and they never turned me away. Nighttime is so scary when you are little, I just don't see the harm in letting little ones have as much security in their worlds as I can provide. Our doctor had a fit when I told him that our oldest had been sleeping in our bed. He told me that he must be in his own bed, in his own room and to let him "cry it out". I could not bear to follow this advice and deep in my heart knew that this advice was wrong. I have lied to him ever since! Everyone told me that we were creating a terrible habit and one that we wouldn't be able to break. I really felt (and I was right!) that if I raised my son to be secure, he would choose to sleep in his own bed when he was ready.

I have a 8 week old little girl and a son who will be 3 in April. My daughter sleeps in the cradle which opens up to our bed and my son sleeps between my husband and I. The only thing our crib has ever been used for is a changing table and the bed in my sons room is for guests!! It works for us. Other parents to be have asked us, "Our 2 year old still sleeps with us and we are going to have another baby. What are we going to do?" My husband now tells them to buy the biggest bed that they can find.

I have a 3 1/2 year old and a 14 month old. The boys have been sleeping with us since the oldest was about a year. We love waking up with their smiling faces and giggles. They are wonderful, intelligent, social children and I think the attachment parenting and extended nursing of both have contributed to this. I highly reccomend it!!!!

Hello co-sleeping world. I am a 23 year old mother of two. Since the birth of my first child(Shauri), I have had my baby in bed with me. My Mom went out and bought a very expensive crib for my daughter and was very upset with us when she realized that we never used it. My daughter laid in that crib twice in her entire life and she is now two. I have never regreted my decision. I think all parents should follow their hearts and if they listen very closely it will probably tell them the right thing. When my son came along, my daughter was still a permanent resident of our bed. We easily solved that problem with the sidecar arrangement. The very expensive crib finally became useful(minus a siderail). My son sleeps in the crib and my daughter sleeps between my husband and I. She is 2 years old and he is 2 months old now. My advice to newly expanding co-sleeping families is be very flexible and very patient. If you are commited to breastfeeding, it will be easy to commit to co-sleeping. Anyone looking for support feel free to e-mail me. Good luck!!!

My son started out in a bassinet by our bed too and I remember being so exhausted because I had to be fully awake to lift him out to nurse him. I also nursed him while I sat up in bed for the first few weeks until I got used to nursing him lying down. I remember almost dropping him one night as I dozed off in an upright position while nursing. It was about this time that we decided to bring Nik into bed with us and stop monkeying around with the bassinet. The crib was not an option because he bawled whenever he was put in it and I began to wonder if I'd get to use it at all. We started our family bed experience by having a guard rail put on my side of the bed so the baby wouldn't roll off during the night. After a while of that, I read The Family Bed and noticed the sidecar setup. We decided to try it and have been using it ever since. What a blessing to have our son nearby, yet not always physically in our bed. He would nurse to sleep, then I'd place him in his crib. During the night he would simply roll over to me to nurse or for comfort, then I'd roll him back. This arrangement is still in force (he's 3) and has been the best thing to happen to us in terms of everyone getting what they need, sleep, comfort and the knowledge that he's close by in case of anything. I recently read a posting by a new mom on another board that was asking about a cosleeper bassinet that is currently being sold for about $170.00+ and I offered the sidecar arrangement as an option. I never heard about what she decided to try, but it seems to make more sense to use something most of us already have (a crib) and turn it into a useful sleeping place but I know many have negative views of cosleeping and its a shame because until you try it, you'll never know how potentially great it can be for your family. I cannot say enough about this. I know it helped me deal with a "high need" child when he needed me the most, at night and I don't plan to do anything differently with #2 when he/she arrives. Any other sidecar families out there? Email me at pilemoje@yahoo.com and share your experiences.

After my son was born in December of 1997, I expressed my fear SIDS to the nurse that was tending to me. She suggested that I sleep with my baby. She said that though no one is exactly sure what causes SIDS; in countries (i.e. India) where parents tend to sleep with their children, there is a lower rate of SIDS. So, even though my husband and I had invested in a beautiful wooden crib, our son (now almost 11 months) rarely uses it excecpt for the occassional nap. On the few nights when he was put to sleep in his crib and I have fallen asleep on the family bed without getting him, my husband has waken me with the words "You forgot to get our boy" and he has been wisked from his crib into our bed without waking up. There is never a night when he is away from us and our friends are jealous because he sleeps through the night and we are well rested. When they ask us how, we tell him that if he is hungry I am right there and there is no need for me to get up and get him, he can just latch on and all three of us can keep sleeping. Before I gave birth, I wasn't sure whether sharing your bed with your baby was taboo, but now I realize that there is nothing more natural and nurturing for the entire family then cuddling up to sleep under one blanket.

While I was pregnant my boyfriend and I talked about co-sleeping. He was worried about hurting the baby, lack of intamacy, and what others would say, so he said no. At the birth center after I had had Ian we laid on the bed and held him and I fed him. There was no crib in the room and Jim feel asleep holding Ian and then Ian feel asleep. Since then we have been co-sleeping. Now Ian is five weeks old and sleeps happily with us. Our roomate have a 13 week old who sleeps in a bassinet by their bed. There daughter cries forever and they never get any sleep, but they think we are nuts! But unfortunatly there parenting styles are rubbing off on Jim. Just the other day when Ian was crying he said to let him cry, then when I protested he put a pacifier in his mouth. I was shocked. He is afraid Ian will never become independent, because I always baby him and respond to his crys immediately. But he is a baby.

My son is 18 months and sleeps with us. Last Spring, one of my relatives asked if my son was sleeping in his own bed yet. My husband quickly replied, "Yes, it just happens to be our bed too." I thought that was great.

My husband and I have been practicing the family bed since the birth of our first child, Emma.....going on 7 1/2 months now! We love the experience, and savor every moment, knowing that she will be graduating from high school before we know it! It is so natural to us as a family; we feel like we are doing what humans have done since the dawn of creation, and it makes no sense to put her in a crib.She's happy, and we're happy....and I encourage every family to follow their insticts!

I am 8 months pregnant. Ever since I became pregnant, my husband and I have been discusing how we want to raise our child; things that are important to each of us. Fortunatly, we agree on pretty much every aspest of parenting that we could think of, including a family bed. We came to this decision for many reasons. The main reason being that we believe in "natural" childrearing; and what is more narural then having the child by the parent's side. My parents have given us all the reasons not to, especially that the baby will never learn to be independent if we let him/her sleep with us. But they though I'd never stop wearing all black or be able to cook either... I did and I can! I figure if I can do those things in my own time, our baby will learn to be independent in his/her own time too!

My husband and I have felt since our 5 month old was born that we are all happier with our baby in our bed at night. She definitely sleeps better and longer, and, as a result, so do we. We worry tremendously about SIDS, but feel that she is "safer" in our bed. It is also very comforting to simply wake for just a moment to check on her, to give her her pacifier or to just adore her. Because of our society and what we have read, we thought that we were doing the wrong thing and kept trying to put her in her crib "for her own good". We recently started researching the general consensus on the issue and the advantages and disadvantages of co-sleeping, and the more we learn, the more we feel our hearts were right in telling us to put our baby in bed with us. Thanks for confirming our feelings.

i read The Family Bed while i was pregnant with my son, and it made so much sense to both me and my husband. my son has been sleeping with me since he was born, and i can't imagine it any other way. as much as i check his breathing (while he's asleep) now, i can't imagine if he slept in a different bed, much less in a different room--i'd never sleep!

Our 3 week old has been sleeping with us since we came home from the hosp. I haven't had the postpartum depression I had with my first two - who didn't share our bed. Nursing at night is a breeze. I dont think *I* could sleep if he wasn't next to me!!

My husband and I started practicing "attachment parenting" instinctively, without ever hearing the term. I started sleeping with my baby when she was two days old and I was in the hospital in bed because of a c-section and could not easily get out of my bed to get my baby when it was feeding time. After calling nurses to bring her to me, I decided to just leave her in bed with me. The nurses did not seem to mind and it worked out great for feeding. We continued the practice when we got home. My husband would just smile at he co-workers who would tease him that he was probably loosing sleep. He hasn't missed a night since birth! I think the smartest think that we did was not read too much about baby caretaking. We just used common sense and did what seemed natural to us. I'm sure all our children will start out there lives in bed with Mom and Dad!

Maria, it seems many people's kids want or can be persuaded to sleep in their own bed around age 3. For those that are more reluctant, parents can offer a pallet at the end of their bed or a mattress beside their bed as an alternative. My DH&I are planning on buying a king size before the next baby, just in case!.

Hi Paula and friends! We have been sleeping with our 6month old for about a week. We are still adjusting, but we definitely like it. But we can't help wondering just when do kids leave their parents' bed and aren't afraid or reluctant to sleeping in their own room.What is the average age? I ask this because I can't imagine when I have my second baby (hopefully when he is 3), sleeping with both a newborn and a 3 year old. I worry about the safety of it and of course comfort. As I said I LOVE sleeping with my baby and regret not having done so since day one, so I'd like supportive comments! Thanks! Maria