Evolution of a Family Bedder

After Ian was born, I kept him in a bassinet beside my bed for the first two months. He woke a couple of times a night, and I brought him to my bed and nursed him. Sometimes I remained awake and returned him to the bassinet, and other times I did not. At two months of age, I decided to try out putting him in his crib. In only 3 weeks, he was sleeping through the night. There were only a couple of disadvantages. There was that initial heartache every night as I put him down in his crib, knowing I wouldn't see him till morning unless he awoke. Then there was also the fact that it just plain took me longer to get to him when he awoke at night, despite the monitor at my bedside.

When Ian was 12 weeks, I returned to the workworld. And 2 days later he stopped sleeping through the night. Nightwaking promptly became my #1 parenting problem. I decided to give the family bed another shot. Just a few days later, I began to feel much better rested. I was surprised at how synchronized Ian and I got. Although it still happened that I awoke out of a deep sleep to hear his cries of hunger, it was much more common to be gently awoken out of my dreaming state to a rooting infant, and just latch him on and get back to sleep.

Now my husband and I can't imagine sleeping any other way. Here are some of the advantages we have discovered sharing sleep:

• Better rest, for both mom & dad.
• No guilt or worries over letting baby cry it out to teach him to sleep through the night.
• The indescribable joy of waking up to a happy baby, right there with you.
• No worries over what to do in the event of a fire or other emergency, baby is safe with us.
• Easy naptimes with daddy while I'm at work.
• A toddler who looks forward to going to sleep with mommy & daddy.
• A baby who filled up with breastmilk at night, freeing his mother of some of her breastpumping duties (YMMV).
• Some evidence indicates cosleeping can lower the rates of SIDS for nonsmoking parents.

Cosleeping may not be right for you and your family. The important part about parenting is not choosing any one method, but looking for the best solution for your own family, and being flexible enough to change as the family changes. I hope this information is informative to those contemplating a cosleeping arrangement. An excellent source of family bedding information can be found in Tine Thenevin's The Family Bed

With our boys (11 & 12) we never quite allowed them to sleep in our bed, but we did have an open door policy. This meant that they could come into our room at any time with their blankets and pillows to sleep on the floor. This could, at times, be very inconvenient, especially when we wanted to be intimate, but it made the boys feel safe and secure knowing we were in the room. Now, we have a 7 month old, and although she is a great sleeper in her own room, it took a while for me to be secure having her at the end of the hall. I am sure that when she gets a little older, we will have her in our bed quite often. This helps to make the little ones feel safer. Although, my boys are older now, I miss them coming into our room to sleep.

I went through the same thing with my kids, and I didn't have any problems at all... even though it's not over yet : )

I have "family bedded" all my children and it has been a LIFE SAVER!!! I was a single mom with my first going to nursing school at 6wks of age and working weekends/nights so our sleep time alot of the times was the only times we had together. She slept wonderfully and so did I! We did the same with our son, and he actually at 3yrs still sleeps with us and I deffinatly prefer it! He otherwise, would often wonder around at night time and get himself into a lot of trouble. Now with our 3rd child on the way and our king size bed already crowded with my husband and son, we are wondering what we are going to do with two children in the bed. We are considering an "extension" to the king size by placing a twin along side ours if its possible. We will see! But i LOVE having the children near by, to make sure they are always covered up when its cold and the HUGH benifit of feeding when they are young! Only draw back is my husband doesn't like the children being between us (which i have no problem with), you just have to make sure you have single quality time with your husband too.

We started sharing our bed with our new baby immediately after birth. That was five years ago, and he still sleeps with us. We wouldn't have it any other way. He was breastfed in the bed with us, he napped in his crib during the day while I was picking up around the house. Our son is very healthy, and adjusted, and he slept through the night soon after being brought home from the birthing center. I think it was a great option for our family. When people criticize us we remind them that children are our babies for such a short time! We want to experience that closeness with them as long as it will last. I don't mind a knee in my back, or a sweet baby hand in my face, or even a little butt right beside my head when I wake up. Life is just too short for those things to matter! We now have a King size for myself, my husband, our five year old, and our newest baby girl addition.

My husband and I very happily accepted our beautiful little baby boy into our bed and 8 years later he finally went full time into his own room knowing that we are always there for him at night if he needs us.(This is a rather late age as compared to other co-sleeping families we know) He is a secure, happy boy. Fourteen months ago we had our second baby boy and we are co-sleeping again, much to our delight. The biggest issue seems to be with our friends and family, some of whom comment on it being "unnatural" to sleep with your kids. But I say, why is it 'natural' to sleep with your partner but so strange to sleep with the brand new person that we made together and I carried in my womb for 9 months? The thought of that little baby being snuggly carried around for all that time in the womb and then being introduced to a cold bright world where they are expected to sleep by themselves to give the parents their own space seems to defy logic. Invariably the next issue that people raise is "how can you have sex with a baby in your bed?" That is such a narrow minded question. Bed is not the only place you can do it and why does it have to be at night? Leaving the sleeping baby in the bed and going somewhere else is actually more fun. Finally I guess your'e thinking that co-sleeping means you end up with an eight year old in your bed but we encouraged him to go to his own room when he was comfortable and hang out in our family room at other times if he wanted to. He still had/s sleepovers with friends and hubby and I go on regular dates and have lots of couple time at home once the kids are in bed so that we dont neglect our relationship. (We planned our second child so far down the track because of health issues, not because of co-sleeping) *With both kids we put the King size 'family' mattress on the floor at about 5 months so they did'nt roll off and hurt themselves.

I would like to hear from some parents of children who are older who have shared their bed. At what age does it seem best to transition them to their own bed?

Does this method take into account what the husband thinks? Moreover, does it really honor our husbands to do this. Not only does the family bed method shut them out, but it makes you so wrapped up in "baby" that we can't give our husbands the attention they deserve (sexual or otherwise.) What I've seen is that this method starts parents off on the wrong foot to where they cannot let go of the child when it's time to leave home. Believe me, I know, I slept in my parents room until I was 5, and because they were big advocates of attatchment parenting, they guilted me and manipulated me to try to get me to not get married and move out of the house. None of the reasons listed for the family bed method are all that great, or can easily be dealt with.

With my son (who now is 6) He used to choke on spit up when I put him in his crib. Instead of sitting there and watching him sleep ( which I did the first couple of nights) I thought it was crazy I took him in bed with me. He slept there peacefully and never choked on spit up again. I just recently had a daughter (now 7 months) and I being tired with the 2 hrs feedings took her into our bed. She sleeps sound and at first my husband thought oh no she will never get out of our bed and we will never have our own bed for ourselves again but when she started to have to touch him to sleep, and woke up with hugs and smiles and never haveing to crying and always seeing a happy baby is well worth it. We always get comments on how happy she is and our our family says they have never heard her really cry. That the only time they have heard her cry was like a whisper. I think it has a lot to do with her being so secure that we will always be their for her. My opion but it is the norm now a days to let baby cry it out and formula is better than breastfeeding. Lynnette

My feeling is that babies need thier along time as much as Mommy and Daddy need theirs. Our solution is putting our 12 week old to bed in her crib, and then pulling her into our bed after her 6:00 am feeding. We all fall right back asleep, Daddy gets some time with her before he heads to work, and she awakes in the morning with me right beside her.

My daughter had complications when she was born and I couldn't see her for the first several hours. When I did, I didn't want her out of my sight- therefore; she slept in the bed with me. Yes, I heard the warnings and listened to them closely. But, it was a decision I made in time. She slept in the bed with me for close to three years. When I did 'wean' her out of my bed, she was fine. She did not have problems falling asleep by herself nor did she have problems sleeping through the night. She is nine years old now and a bomb could drop beside her and she wouldn't flinch. I have recently had another child, 6 months now, and he sleeps with me as well. I have had such a great experience with co-sleeping. I do breastfeed and it is more convenient, but it isn't just that. Waking up and having them next to you is peaceful, bonding experience. I know that everyone has to evaluate their own situation, and I heir on the side of caution when there is more than one person in the bed (we kicked my husband out of the bed- sorry sweetie). I just wanted to let concerned parents out there know that I have a 'grown' child that co-slept and there is nothing wrong with her. Actually, she has been an all 'A' honor roll student since she started school (I think breastfeeding is to thank for that). So, spent time thinking about your own needs and concerns, but know that there are hundreds of thousands of co-sleepers in the world that didn't turn out like Jeffery Dahmer (no offense Mr. Dahmer). Thank you!

I have 2 childern 1 is 2 and the other 3 months. The 2 year old was in the Family bed until she turned 1, everything about it was easy especially the feeding herself and no getting up for crying baby part. She wanted to sleep in her baby bed just after she turned 1 ( because big girls sleep in their own bed) which we put at the foot of our bed. Which, later became the head so we could easily get her into our bed if she woke and wanted to be in bed with us. Quickly she learned how to climb over the rail and into our bed. Then we became aware of # 2 on his way so we bought her a bed for her room and when she turned 2 my husband began sleeping with her for 1/2 the night. It wasn't long and he could tell her it was time for bed and she would go get in her bed and wait for him to shower and brush his teeth. Many nights by the time he returned she had already fallen asleep by herself. He would kiss her goodnight and then come to bed with me. Now we have #2 and he has been just as easy as our 1st. The no getting up thing is what it is all about. For every parent that puts themself through the censored of getting up in the middle of the night, your suffering is of your own doing and I personally do not feel sorry for you. Sometimes life is only as hard as you make it and the Family bed has made my life and parenting experience wonderful. Robin

My husband and I co-slept with our son until the age of 3. He then went into a toddler bed, beside our bed when he was comfortable, But can still grab his daddys hand when he feels scared. Now on baby boy nuber 2-he is sleeping with us, and I would not have this any other way. I have breastfed all my children and the closeness that you share with your child is unmeasurable. Parnets who say that this is wrong or harmful, needs to think about their descision. I must admitt, Children need to sleep in their own bed at a certain age, but when they are infant to toddler. Mom and Dad is the best place to be. I can't imagine as a mother not wanting my newborn or small child as close to me as possible while sleeping. THere is always time for closeness later with your husband.

First I'd like to say is I'm still divided on the whole sharing a bed thing. With my first son, he aways slept in his crib. But he also was a bottle baby and at 6 weeks was sleeping through the night without problems. My daughter was another story. My husband is mexican and in their culture the mother and baby always sleep together. My mother in law was taken back that I didn't want my daughter to sleep with us. But after a while it was easier to feeder at night. But she also had colic so I was up half the night any way. Now 21/2 years later, she's still in our bed. I believe that she's old enough to sleep in her own bed. It's in our room and she's not that far away. Also my youngest son of months shares the bed. It's easier with him right there but I don't sleep well for several reasons. First, I wake every so often because I'm scared that my daughter is going to end up squishing the baby. And several times she almost has. The other thing is even though we have a king size bed, there's really no room. My husband believes he should get half leaving me, my son, and my daughter with the other half. My husband and I have had several conversations. He says he's not putting my daughter in her own bed until he doesn't want her in our bed.

My 6 month old started sleeping with us in bed when she was about 2 weeks old. I pulled her in bed with me to nurse out of sheer exhaustion, and that's where she stayed. When she was about 4 months and needed to have an earlier bedtime, we started to put her in her crib. I hated having her there all night and I worried all night long. Neither my husband nor myself slept better with her in her crib. She is a good sleeper and only wakes once to nurse - she goes to bed at 8pm, wakes up once and then sleeps until at least 8am. She wakes up around 11:30, when I'm about to go to bed. So, I take her in bed with me at that time. It works out so well because she's safe in her crib for a few hours in the evening and my husband and I can eat dinner and have some couple time. Then, when we go to bed she's there with us. We all sleep so well and get a worry free full night's sleep! It's a wonderful arrangement for us.

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I was not 100% ready to family bed when my husband brought our newborn into our bed several times within the first days being home. We did not realize that we were family bedders. Now, I cannot imagine any other way for our family to sleep! Our son stopped nursing at 22 months, on his own, but remains in our bed. We are now expecting son #2 and do not plan to change much. Our older son saw a Thomas the Train toddler bed and wanted it. We bought it and it is at the foot of our bed. He sleeps in it about 3 nights a week and usually naps there, but whenever he wants to he, just climbs up into our bed. I'm sure he will return to sleeping with all of us when our new baby arrives and I know it will be just fine. I cannot imagine them anywhere else in the house, other than our bed! We too have a crib, my husband says it is a very expensive bookshelf!

I was not 100% ready to family bed when my husband brought our newborn into our bed several times within the first days being home. We did not realize that we were family bedders. Now, I cannot imagine any other way for our family to sleep! Our son stopped nursing at 22 months, on his own, but remains in our bed. We are now expecting son #2 and do not plan to change much. Our older son saw a Thomas the Train toddler bed and wanted it. We bought it and it is at the foot of our bed. He sleeps in it about 3 nights a week and usually naps there, but whenever he wants to he, just climbs up into our bed. I'm sure he will return to sleeping with all of us when our new baby arrives and I know it will be just fine. I cannot imagine them anywhere else in the house, other than our bed! We too have a crib, my husband says it is a very expensive bookshelf!

I was a co-sleeper when I was a child. I slept with my parents until I was tweleve years old.I let my first child sleep with me and it was a joy. I went the other way with my second child and I feel really bad about it. Now I have a third child and he has sleep with me since birth. I love to wake up with him next to me. All of my three children sleep in the same room with me two with me in my bed the third in a toodler bed beside of my bed.

My friend turned me on to the family bed. I had never really considered it an option. We got a crib at our baby shower and she warned that we would never use it, telling me that we wouldn't be able to leave her in there all night. She was right...she never once left my side the entire hospital stay and now at 6 months, has still not slept a wink in that crib. I could not imagine the guilt of putting her in there. The mornings are full of smiles as she wakes us up with her laughter. It is great family time and has been sleeping through the night since birth. Babies were meant to be close to their parents during infancy not forced into independence. Humans are the most dependent species at birth and take the longest to develop. Congratulations to everyone who gets to experience the joy of the family bed!

hi there from New Zealand! My 21 month old son is a second generation family bedder!! My mother had my sisters and I in bed with her when we were young, and two out of three of us have decided to continue the tradition. We have a fantistic relationship with our mother, we're very close, and I look forward to having the same relationship with my son. Harper is a very happy confidant and caring little boy. He is a delight to be around, and i'm positive that it is because of the family bed. I have to admit that i started out with him in a bassinet and a crib, but after heving AWFUL nights with him, i came to realise that he slept a million times better when he was in bed with me. He now sleeps from 7.30pm to 7.30am, occasionally stirring during the night, but because he is right next to me i can comfort him back to sleep before he is even fully awake. If anyone is worried that the family bed makes children clingy and unable to cope with being independent, take it from an all grown up family bedder (me) thats not the case! If anything it has made me secure enough to be totally independent, while still be close to my mother.

Sharing our bed with our daughter was not so much a decision for my husband and I, as it was a natural transition. Prior to her birth we were prepared with the bassinet at my side of the bed, however, after spending 3 nights in the hospital with her either feeding, rooting or peaceful curled up at my side I could not imagine placing her the full 1foot away in the bassinett. She turned 3 years old today, and even though her baby sister was born august 23 and is also sleeping with us, Kalyssa is still in our bed. Needless to say we have a King sized now (we were in a full sized bed when she was born) but none of us, niether my husband, myself nor Kalyssa can stand to sleep apart. Even the King is getting a little cramped though, so soon I hope the transition out of our bed can evolve as easily as naturally as the transition out!

My co-sleeping began in the hospital. My son was a month premature and spent his first night in the special care nursery. But the next morning I brought him in my room and he stayed. I was so nervous being a first time mom of a premie when he slept I would hold him to make sure he was still breathing and OK. When I slept I also held him on my chest. The doctors and nurses were not to happy with this and I had to hide it. When he came home on the second day my parents bought a co-sleeper basinet that fit between the pillows and between my husband and I. While we still use it ocassionally and it still rests between the pillows most nights I hold my son until he falls asleep. And it works just fine. I am feeling very well rested because I know every moment my son is safe. Now we are planning on having all of our children sleep with us.

When my first child was born my husband and I had read every book out there and surfed the web for how to raise a child the right way. We soon discovered that you have natrul instincts that will guide you if you let them. We had the crib and bassinet, but from the night she was born we just could not manage to bring ourselves to put her in one of them. We soon gave into that wonderful feeling that cosleeping provides. Then it happened, we discovered that not many people agree with cosleeping. We found ourselves actually haveing to defend our choice to cosleep. We got asked some of the most stupid questions. Now our family and friends do not find it stange or "Bad" they just except it. Our girls have thier own room and bed, but they choose our room. Well the youngest does. I found like everything else given time they will choose to have thier own space. My 4yr old sleeps in her bed and does not even want to be in our bed. Our 2 yr old starts out in her bed and migrates to ours some time at night. Our 1 year old is very content in our bed and shows no signs that she is leaveing anytime soon:) We are expecting our 4th and like the other three she will sleep with us. Our bed seems to grow and accomidate the children. In fact for comfort we put a sofa to help out when it gets to "full" and it seems to help, but we still find new and interesting ways to fit evryone in the one king sized bed. It is wonderful and the kids seem very happy and comfortable. They are very loving and adjust to new situations just as good if not better than kids that have thier "own space". Cosleeping is wonderful, and makes the world of difference to a kid. They have the sercurity of mom and dad and can snuggle and love you in return. It is the most wonderful feeling wakeing up and see the most beautiful child in the word either sleeping or smiling at you. Now that is what it is all about.

When my son was born, I had absolutly no intention of putting him in my bed. My husband on the other hand very much wanted him by our side. He would say, "He's known nothing but you for 9 months. He's in a new world and scared and your just going to put him in a bed by himself? He want's you." After just a few weeks of getting up every two hours to breast feed, I was exsahsted. Finally, instead of walking into the living room to sit in the rocker and nurse, I simply began nursing in bed. Then started falling asleep after nursing and simply kept him with us in bed. It was so much easier, and he soon began sleeping through the night. Our son is 2 and 1/2 now and me and my husband could not imagine sleeping with out him. We have a nother one due in Nov and i'm not sure how were all four going to fit in the bed, but i'm looking forward to it.

When my daughter was born in October of 2002 I knew I would nurse and keep her in my bed, my husband was a little apprehensive at first but he grew to love cuddling with her as much as I did. She is now 21 months old and has been weeened for three months. I would not mind keeping her in my bed except we have a new baby due at the end of August. My daughter sleeps like a mule, she kicks and tosses most of the night, my husband and I have grown accustomed to her sleep habits but we worry about what is going to happen when the baby is born. We have been gradually putting her into her own bed, which is adjacent to ours so that she can climb into our bed if she neds to. The problem I am having is that she is much more attached to me than to her father and I fear the jealousy issue when the baby is born. If anyone has any advice on how I can help her transition into her bed and bring her closer to her Daddy I would really appreciate it.

Initially when my child was born in 1997, she slept in her own bassinett because she was born with jaundice and had to be on a billilight. Once she was removed from that, she would nurse between my husband and myself at night. we all got much better sleep. He would sleep with his hand on her to make sure she was ok. When she was 3 months old, my husband and i separated, but she remained secure next to me. When he finally left when she was a year old and i became a single parent, his departure didn't take a big toll on her because she was still safe and secure with me. I would not have been able to continue to work 8 hours a day and not gotten any sleep at night. (I was still trying to nurse her.) I did try to put her in her own bed when she was older or for naps, but she would cry. It would get to the point where she was so upset she would vomit. I quickly decided that it wasn't worth it to have to clean up a mess vs. getting some sleep. While people told me it was crazy to have her sleeping with me, as a single parent, i needed to do what was best for me. I worry a lot about fire safety. I live in a mobile home which is another name for fire trap. She stayed there until she was six and I had another baby in 2003. She did learn to fall asleep on her own and has no problem doing it. she is intelligent, funny and very confident. she was not warped or deprived by not having a crib or a nursery. Because of the fire hazzard, I still keep her in the room with me. She is in a bunk above my bed, so if she is scared or sick, i am right there for her. The new baby sleeps and nurses at night in my bed. I love waking up to the little taps or scratches against my arm and the smile when i look at her. She snuggles into my arm at night and definitely knows when i am gone. i would not have it any other way. the bassinett that i bought for the older child is a good toy holder for the younger child. i think it is unfair to the child to abandon it to it's own bed in it's own room. (i could go on for days about what a waste it is to buy a crib, etc.) so our little family is the 6 year old, the 7 month old, the cat and myself. talk about the family bed.

I have two children. My oldest is 20 months old and my youngest is 7 weeks. I left the hospital with my son with intentions of having him sleep in the cradle. Garrett had other ideas. I soon realized that the one way to get much needed sleep was to allow him to sleep with me. This was especially the case when I returned to work. Garrett did not take well to being bottle fed at first and wanted to nurse all night it seemed to compensate. It seemed to be so unnatural to put him anywhere but with me anyway. Now that we have Gabrielle, Garrett sleeps in his bed but in the same room. As for Gabrielle, my 7 week old, well she sleeps with me most of the time. I'm not returning back to work this time so the seperation won't be an issue like it was with Garrett but it just feels right. I found the top ten list to be very true. Why get up to sooth a crying baby when you can offer your breast and go back to sleep? It works for me.

I have a 6 year old daughter and a 4 week old son and have done the family bed with both of them from day 1. My daughter has been the most social, sharing, caring child I've ever met, even when she was very small, and I do give our family bed some credit for her personality. I beleive that because she never experienced as an infant what it meant to not have her needs met when she needed them met (whether it was the need for cuddling or food), she has grown into a condfident and secure child who has no fear of the world (beyond the ones we have to teach her to be safe in society). We gradually had to move her to her own bed to make room for baby, but she has adjusted well and understands that it's his turn to have the bed, now. We've used lots of creative tricks over the years to get her to be independant, and to eventually move into her bed, but we would never have chosen different sleep arrangements. On a more practicle side, as a working mother of two, wife, and student, my sleep and time are extremely valuable and the family bed is by far the most efficient way to care for my infant through the night since it means I lose little sleep (I can generally sleep and nurse him at the same time) and don't have to waste time figuring out how to get a fussy baby to go to sleep in a crib by himself in an empty room. I don't blame babies for not wanting to sleep in their cirbs. If you think about it, they spend nine months snug and secure inside mommy and then one day they're expected to just go all by themselves into a crib away from everyone else, even while the parents, themselves, get to enjoy the comfort and security of each other in bed together in the other room.

I have a 6 year old daughter and a 4 week old son and have done the family bed with both of them from day 1. My daughter has been the most social, sharing, caring child I've ever met, even when she was very small, and I do give our family bed some credit for her personality. I beleive that because she never experienced as an infant what it meant to not have her needs met when she needed them met (whether it was the need for cuddling or food), she has grown into a condfident and secure child who has no fear of the world (beyond the ones we have to teach her to be safe in society). We gradually had to move her to her own bed to make room for baby, but she has adjusted well and understands that it's his turn to have the bed, now. We've used lots of creative tricks over the years to get her to be independant, and to eventually move into her bed, but we would never have chosen different sleep arrangements. On a more practicle side, as a working mother of two, wife, and student, my sleep and time are extremely valuable and the family bed is by far the most efficient way to care for my infant through the night since it means I lose little sleep (I can generally sleep and nurse him at the same time) and don't have to waste time figuring out how to get a fussy baby to go to sleep in a crib by himself in an empty room. I don't blame babies for not wanting to sleep in their cirbs. If you think about it, they spend nine months snug and secure inside mommy and then one day they're expected to just go all by themselves into a crib away from everyone else, even while the parents, themselves, get to enjoy the comfort and security of each other in bed together in the other room.

I didn't know a "family bed" existed. I'd never known anyone who's children slept with them. Everyone I'd known who had kids said that if you let them sleep with you, they'll never leave your bed. Well, I had my son in Feb. 2003 and I just could not bear to sleep without him! I'm breast feeding, and if he weren't right by my side, I'd never sleep, even though he is sleeping longer now. I just could not handle trips to the crib several times a night. I totally love having him there with me and I love the way he loves my body. He snuggles tight up agains my warm, milky breasts and throws his little arm over the top! So sweet! And I get the most georgous little smile in the world every morning. What could beat that? But there is one problem. My husband wants to have sex quite often again and I feel very uncomfortable with the baby in bed with us. We usually put him in the crib, but he always wakes up and usually at a bad moment. We also try doing it in another room, but again, without my smell, the baby wakes up. So, if anyone has any advice, please, please let me know. Thanks. loriachen@yahoo.com

I didn't even know about the family bed when I had my son on April 11,2003. We tried putting him in the crib for about a week but he would wake right up and start crying as soon as we laid him down. Then I put him next to me and it is so much easier. We nurse laying on our sides, and I doze while he nurses. Some people (even my doctor)question what I am doing, but a friend gave me Dr. Sears' book Nighttime Parenting and I just tell them to read it. It makes so much sense. The only problem that I have is that my son nurses much nore noisely at night than during the day. He is 3weeks old and growing like a weed!

My three children are between the ages of 12 and 26 years old. All three had the opportunity to sleep with us when they were little and I can guarantee they grew out of their need to be in our bed!!! The youngest two were close in age. As they got older (I nursed them until they were 2-3 yrs. old,so around 3-4) we expected them to start out the night in their own bed, but by morning we often had a couple of darlings in our bed with us! The bed got rather crowded (as they got bigger). Finally, my husband and I came up with a plan so they took turns joining us. They were allowed to come to bed with us after midnight(we needed adult snuggle time before that!)and one child came in on even nights of the calendar and the other came in on the odd nights of the calendar! (On the 31st we got the bed to ourselves) This worked like a dream. I think they kept up with this plan until they reached about eight years old!! We had happy, non-competitive children who got the benefit of lots of snuggling with mom and dad until they were ready to sleep alone for the entire night. I highly recommend cosleeping; they are little for such a short time. I agree with all the advantages and wish every little child could experience the warmth of mom's body at night.

My three children are between the ages of 12 and 26 years old. All three had the opportunity to sleep with us when they were little and I can guarantee they grew out of their need to be in our bed!!! The youngest two were close in age. As they got older (I nursed them until they were 2-3 yrs. old,so around 3-4) we expected them to start out the night in their own bed, but by morning we often had a couple of darlings in our bed with us! The bed got rather crowded (as they got bigger). Finally, my husband and I came up with a plan so they took turns joining us. They were allowed to come to bed with us after midnight(we needed adult snuggle time before that!)and one child came in on even nights of the calendar and the other came in on the odd nights of the calendar! (On the 31st we got the bed to ourselves) This worked like a dream. I think they kept up with this plan until they reached about eight years old!! We had happy, non-competitive children who got the benefit of lots of snuggling with mom and dad until they were ready to sleep alone for the entire night. I highly recommend cosleeping; they are little for such a short time. I agree with all the advantages and wish every little child could experience the warmth of mom's body at night.

My husband, my one year old and I absolutely love our family bed. Although the kid is quite a bed hog, we couldn't imagine any other way to sleep!

My 19 month old son shares our family bed and we love it. WE plan to get him a full size mattress to put alongside of ours soon but no rush. He will move when he is ready. I just love to open my eyes and stare at him sleeping so peacefully next to me. That is when he does not wake me up himself. We nightweaned 2 weeks ago and it has helped. I recommend dr. gordon's method. I just could not leave and leave it up to my husband, even if we weren't nursing I wanted him to know mommie was still there. WE still do lots of whispering, cuddling, rocking and patting. But he does finally sleep from 9 until 5am.

A newly developed product especially for the co-sleeping and family beds. My customers are raving about its functionability, looks and convienience. Please take a look at my website and let me know if I can write an article, or advertise on your website. Thank you, Jeanne Barajas www.snugtuckpillow.com.

I think your 10 reasons list is very lame. I also think entertaining your husband should be higher on your list than having to get up and walk a few feet to your crying baby, who probably wont cry if you arent constantly bumping him all night. I hate to be negative, but come on, you can't think this is the best thing .... are you going to let this kid go to kindergarden? I suppose your a home school freak too. Don't forget the husband.

I have a 8wk old son. He co sleeps with me and hubbie. We did this with our first son as well who is now 6 yrs old. When we moved him out of our bed. I hardly slept even though the crib was right there. I plan to do the same when I make the transaction. At 8 wks I do not want to move him. Matter of fact when he sleeps elsewhere before I go to bed I HAVE to move him .(laughing) I know such a mommys boy. I overall feel co sleeping has made a stronger bond between me and my children.

My husband and I are committed to a family bed. Our baby is 18 monhts old. However, I am getting less sleep lately because she demands to nurse every hour from 3 a.m. on. I beg her to let me go to sleep, and she cries until I feed her. I am feeding her dinner as late as possible, and, despite my commitment to natural medicine, I use motrin a lot during heavy teething times. Just so I can sleep. I would be grateful for any suggestions about how to get her to sleep without nursing so often. Help.

After sleeping in our family bed, our 4 year old made an easy, natural and voluntary transition to her own bed when she was 3 1/2. She is a truly self confident and loving child - we are sure that being in the family bed had much to do with it. Now our 3 week old is taking her turn in the family bed, and it is not unusual to have the four year old come and snuggle up in the night as well.We are all better rested and the close family time in the mornings can't be beat!

I First read about the family bed just before my 19 month old daughter was born and wasn't really sure it would work for us but it did. We use a modified version due to a small bed and her need for more room. Although we rarely spent a full night together being unafraid to bring her to bed with me helped me be more sensitive to her during the day. She has always slept in our room though and still comes in bed with us in the morning when she wakes up. I can't imagine having to get up in the middle of the night, go across the house get the baby and then sit up and nurse her. It's so easy just to pull her into bed. I only had to put her back if she woke up uncomfortble.

I loved having a family bed with my hubby and now 39 month old son. He actually "moved" into his own bed at 2 years, without much complaint, but has freely shared our bed about 1/2 time on a regular basis. However, I just gave birth to our daughter last week and YIKES! On one side of me I have a thrashing toddler and the other side an 8 day old! She doesn't like the bassinet, he doesn't want his toddler bed and I am simly terrified that I will roll over on her! I am certain that eventually we will figure this one out, but until then i keep wishing that King wasn't the biggest bed size available. On a funny note -- my son - who was weaned at 18 months because of a long term mediction I needed to take, was so looking forward to nursing again -- until the milk came in. One short suckle - and "oh mommy, I love it, I have to go play with Thomas the Tank Engine now" and ROFLMAO -- so much for natural assistantce with my 2 day long engorgement!!

THIS ARTICLE IS REFRESHING. WHEN MY SON WAS BORN HE SLEPT NEXT TO US IN HIS BASSINET FOR ABOUT THREE MONTHS, NURSING HAPPILY EVERY 2 TO 3 HOURS AND THEN RETURNING TO SLEEP. WHEN WE DECIDED WE SHOULD TRY TO GET HIM IN THE CRIB (BECAUSE THE BASSINET WAS CRAMPED) INSTEAD OF JUST WAKING UP HUNGRY EATING AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP HE WOULD WAKE UP SCREAMING. WE WOULD SPEND HOURS EVERY NIGHT TO GET HIM TO SLEEP IN HIS CRIB. WE TRIED ALL THE POPULAR ADVICE SUCH AS PUTTING AN ITEM OF OURS IN THE CRIB SO HE WOULD "SMELL" US OR THE WORST WAS DR RECOMMENDED TO LET THE BABY CRY SO HE WOULD LEARN THE CRIB WAS HIS PLACE AND NOT TO REWARD HIS CRYING BY COMFORTING HIM. NOT ONLY DIDN'T THAT HELP THE BABY TO SLEEP. IT TORE MY HUSBAND AND I INTO PIECES. WE OULD LISTEN TO HIS CRY IN TEARFUL GUILT KNOWING OUR NATURAL INSTINCTS WERE TELLING US THAT THIS WAS NOT RIGHT.AT AGE 1 HE STILL WAS NOT SLEEPING THROUGH THE NIGHT. WE FINALLY WENT WITH OUR INSTINCTS AND LET HIM SLEEP WITH US. NOT ONLY DID HE SLEEP THROUGH THE NIGHT THE FIRST NIGHT, BUT MY HUSBAND AND I BOTH THOROUGHLY ENJOYED HAVING HIM THERE CREATING A SPECIAL BOND BETWEEN THE 3 OF US. HIS EATING AND NAPPING SCHEDULE BECAME MORE REGULAR. WE ARE ALL HEALTHIER AND MORE RESTED. HE IS NOW 14 1/2 MOS. OLD AND WE ARE DUE FOR ANOTHER BABY IN 7 WEEKS. WE PLAN ON SKIPPING THE TORTURE ROUTINE AND CO SLEEPING WITH OUR SECOND SON. JUST REMEMBER EVERYONE, NO WATERBEDS, PILLOWS, COMFORTERS, BOOSE, OR SMOKES MAKES THE FAMILY BED HAPPY AND HEALTHY.

When I was pregnant with my daughter, I bought a crib and inherited my husband's family cradle. I was so excited that I kept going to the crib and imagining my daughter sleeping blissfully there. I had read about family sleep sharing while pregnant, and thought it was a weirdo idea. I was totally against it. Until I realized that my little one absolutely hated sleeping in her cradle, and won't really sleep at all unless I am there with her. My husband works nights, so it is usually just me and Lucy in bed, but when my husband is home, he loves sleeping with her also. He knows that I am really in tune with Lucy's needs, and that this is the only way we get any rest at all! Lucy is now three months old, and extremely happy to be carried a lot, loved, and slept with every night. She is very secure, happy, and friendly, and I think it is because she feels so attached to us. I turned 180 degrees from thinking the family bed was strange to not being able to imagine sleeping apart from my daughter. The crib I bought now makes a wonderful (albeit expensive) hamper!

I am the mother of a 1 month old baby girl. I didn't know anything about sharing my bed and benefits of co-sleeping when I had my baby...but we have never slept apart. It seemed unnatural in the hospital and still when I brought her home, to have her anywhere but beside me when sleeping. I worry when she is not with me and some of our most special moments have happened as we lye in the dim lit room and look at each other. She loves to snuggle and sleep and so many people comment on how peacefully and soundly she sleeps. I read "Three in Bed" after her birth and found the book expresses a lot of reasons for sleeping together that made sense to my husband and I. Of course, many people think we are making a big mistake and putting our child in danger. It is hard to imagine thinking like that but hopefully articles and websites like this will help educate. Happy sleeping to all!

I am glad to see so many women who feel the same way I do about the family bed. It took a bit of convincing for my husband to realize how much easier it is for me to breasfeed our now 10 month old son from our bed rather than getting up. There are times when I feel sleep deprived and after attempting to get him to sleep in his crib at 9 months, we realized that he belongs with us until we are ready for him to sleep on his own. My 9 year old son slept with me until he was 2 1/2 and I don't regret it for one minute. I cringe when people give me that look like I am insane for allowing him to sleep between my husband and I, but I guess that is the price I will have to pay for doing what I feel is right for my family.

When my now 5 month old son was born, I always said that I would not have him in the bed with us. We had two bassinets and a crib for his enjoyment. The first night home he let us know who was really boss. We could have him completely asleep and lay him in the bassinet and within 2 minutes he was howling like he was dying. So in order to get any sleep we put him in the bed with us, but my husband was so afraid of rolling on him that he slept on the floor. After a few nights of this Sam and I retired to the couch so that my husband could get a decent nights sleep. This went on for 9 weeks before we went back to our bed. Now it is inly 2nd nature. The bassinets and crib are catch alls and we all sleep better. I know that the decision that we have made is right when my husband sees Sams smiling face in the mornings and says that he wouldn't have it any other way. Our only complaint noe is that the bed is getting too small.